Richard, THANK YOU for adding to the Spokane Airport story - I'd forgotten the "No thank you, I'll stand" part!
Damn. I REALLY wish he'd written that one down. For those who never heard it, it was basically a back and forth between Dick and the security guard, just like that, with the guard trying to show his authority with every statement and Dick effortlessly slicing and dicing him with each reply. Truly hysterical. That poor guy was so outgunned he never stood a chance! :O
And da gimp, this is for you - best pic of somebody smoking a cigar I could find
I'm sure that if Clint had known Major Culver he'd be saying something about like that.