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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    My dog's house
    Posts
    1,996

    Smile 2018 List - You may be a Redneck if ...

    2018 List - You may be a Redneck if ...


    1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.

    2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.

    3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years

    4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.

    5. You think "The Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.

    6.The Salvation Army declines your furniture.

    7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.

    8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.

    9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.

    10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

    11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

    12. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.

    13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.

    14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.

    15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.

    16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.

    17. You have a rag for a gas cap.

    18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

    19. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.

    20. You can spit without opening your mouth.

    21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.

    22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

    23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.

    24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Walmart.

    25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.

    26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.

    27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.

    28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.

    29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.

    30. You think "loading the dishwasher" means getting your wife drunk.
    Spam Sniper- one click, one kill.

    CSP is what you make it.

    A picture of your gun is worth 1,000 words. A crappy picture is only worth 100.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Foley Missouri
    Posts
    381

    Default

    31. You have more than one major appliance on your front porch.

  3. #3

    Default

    32. If you still see your ex at family gatherings because she's your cousin.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Durand. MI.
    Posts
    6,778

    Default

    Not to mention old cars on cement blocks in front yard!
    You can never go home again.

  5. #5

    Default

    or...if you use an old washing machine to prop up the front of yer Camaro for an engine swap.....

  6. #6

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Darreld Walton View Post
    or...if you use an old washing machine to prop up the front of yer Camaro for an engine swap.....
    ...while using a rope and tree branch for an engine hoist.
    2016 Chicago Cubs. MLB Champions!


    **Never quite as old as the other old farts**

  7. #7

    Default

    If none of your truck tires match and come out of the used tire pile.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Alabama, Gulf Coast Region
    Posts
    9,488

    Default

    You may be a redneck if:
    Attached Images Attached Images

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Alabama, Gulf Coast Region
    Posts
    9,488

    Default

    You may be a redneck if:
    Attached Images Attached Images

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Alabama, Gulf Coast Region
    Posts
    9,488

    Default

    You might be a redneck if:
    Attached Images Attached Images

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