irish humor

[louigi]

Was checking on an old friend in Ireland about the Hurricane and he sent me this pic:

[Vern Humphrey]

Pat and Mike were shipwrecked, floating in a life boat. Pat sees something float past and he grabs it. It's a lamp, and out comes a Genie: "I'll grant you one wish." So he says, "I wish the whole ocean was Guiness."

And Michael give him a look and says, "Nice goin', Paddy. Now we'll have to piss in the boat!"

[barretcreek]

Mike walks into church one day.

"Father, it's been decades since my last confession. Things have changed, for the better I see. Guiness on tap, fine whiskey and brandies, and a box of Cuban cigars. I am impressed".

"You idiot, you're on my side".

[free1954]

father O'Malley runs into mary mcdonnah on the street one day and asks "mary, I married you and your husband so many years ago, have you've not been blessed with any children yet?"
"no father, not yet" she replied
"well" father O'Malley exclaimed, " i'm on me way to the Vatican next week , i'll light a candle for you."
six years later he meets her again on the same street and here she is with five children. "oh mary I see you and your husband have been blessed."
"yes father very blessed." she replies
"and what's your husband doing these days?" he asks.
"he's on his way to the Vatican to blow out that f##king candle."

[John Sukey]

The difference between an Irish wake and an Irish wedding? One less drunk!

[free1954]

why do the irish kiss the blarney stone?


it's so big and white and cold, they think it's a Pollock's arse.