Insults

[Nick Riviezzo]

I worked with an Artillery Captain aviator in RVN. We were Air Cav[Armor Branch material] and this Arty guy kept saying he'd rather have a sister in a whore house than be an Armor Officer. Well, the retort was obvious, "We'd rather you had a sister in a whore house too. In fact,several of us know her and she wasn't worth her pay, just like you!" That stopped the little puke in his tracks!
As Air Cavalry,we traced our history back to the old Horse Cav days and thusly were proud to wear our Cav hats and scarves,especially where it PO ed the Establishment.So to the oft asked question,"Hey Tex, where'd you leave your horse?". We got pretty adept at responding ," if I left it up your a$$ you'ld know where it was!" Colonels,especially USAF, types sometimes took exception to that line! I wonder why? Nick

[Michael Tompkins]

Two direct insults that I remember being given by my DI were, "Stand a little closer to your razor next time!" and "What the fu*k did you shine those boots with son? A Hershey bar and a brick?" Mike

[Nick Riviezzo]

Yes, Michael, and don't forget,"the next time you polish those boots with a Hershey bar take out the G*% D^*# almonds! Some of the "old time" training NCOs[before the Army stole the title DI]had a way of saying "-- cruit" that made you want to slink away on your belly. Nick

[dave]

How come no jokes about the AF and their 'bus driver' uniforms? I'm insulted, feel bad!

[cwartyman]

What do you say to a Squid standing on the corner wearing his whites? Ill take two vanilla cones and a chocolate shake.

Whats the lowest form of Marine life? A squid.

What does ARMY really stand for? Aint Ready to be a Marine Yet.

What do you say to a Marine in his dress blues? The bags are in the trunk and you can take them to room 243.

How Tall are you? 5'9". I didnt know they stacked sh@t that high.

Your mother have any children that lived?

Why is an Air Force SSGT only an E-5 instead of an E-6 as in the Army or the Marine Corps? Like anything else in the Air Force its inferior to the other services, does less work but gets more credit than deserve.

Your father should have shot it into the sink.

What do you say to an Air Force EM in his dress uniform? Next stop please.

Remember your first blow job? How'd it taste?
Mack

[TomSudz]

I used to love hearing one of my First Sergeants call people an "Oxygen Thief"

[Griff Murphey]

As a Navy dental officer I did not get too many insults. I remember one USMC Captain, LDO mustang type, who made a point of addressing me NOT by my first or last name, or my rank which was the same as his by grade, but by the term "dentist" which he rendered as "denis'" dropping the "t." It did kind of bug me because it seemed to be delivered in a particular sniveling way.

After I won the 3rd Mar Div Rifle and Pistol Intramurals, he never used that term again. It was kind of like, even though I was a fat slug by USMC standards, I could do a military skill he as a Marine could appreciate. He was friendly ever after.

Another time at Camp Pendleton Maj. John Egan, a drinking buddy at the CPen BOQ Bar, saw me in the elevator of the apt building we were both in. He asks me ( I am carrying a PRC-25 to contact Range Control as I was taking some dental techs through rifle qualification) "Doc, why in hell are you carrying that rod-ram radio?! You don't even know how to use that thing!" So I proceeded to teach him a class on the PRC-25 and proper RTP, and he about... Well, you know... "I'll be rod-rammed! You DO know how to use that thing!" I was 6 years out of Army ROTC but I still knew it all.... Can't say I could, today!

[Griff Murphey]

FOR RICK:
Don Rickles finished WW-2 as an SN on the USS CYRENE, an MTB tender. He played a chief petty officer as CHIEF SHARKEY on tv.

[Doug Ford]

Had a Master Sgt Supervisor in the AF that would not let me alone as I was a college "Puke"! Finally, I told him that he was so great that I bet he could walk on water!
He agreed with me and I told him that not so great, sh** floats!! He left me alone after that.....