"There I sat, on the Group 'W' Bench..."

The "pre-induction physicals" post got me thinking about going through the Dallas Armed Forces Entrance and Examination Station in 1972. This was a new experience because my Army Physicals had been at Fort Sam Houston and Fort Sill hospitals, not at an AFEES. At the time I was going in for an interview with the Navy to interservice transfer from the Army. There were two other Baylor dental students with me. I wondered if I should wear my Army 2LT uniform. "Nahh!" said Hudson, "...you don't want to wear an Army uniform to a Navy interview!" As far as the AFEES was concerned, we were just E-Zeroes and there was no special treatment. This was when Hudson reminded us of the group "W" bench and we all three agreed: we were THERE. After taking the AFQT we lined up for a thorough 30 second physical, then we were interviewed by a bored looking LT (MC) USN in dress blues. In a monotone he asked me why I checked "tumor" on my health history. I told him it was an old aseptic necrosis of the second right distal metatarsal, and he asked me where I was going to school, and were there any others with me. They then pulled us out and gave us a better quality AFEES experience, sort of VIP as it were. Might have been better from the first had I worn my greens and butterbars.

The best story I ever heard, perhaps apocryphal, was about the dude who put peanut butter in his median raphe (butt crack) The doctor recoiled when he saw it, thinking it was stool. The draftee supposedly wiped a fingerful upward, licked it off, and declared it "not so bad..." whereupon he was promptly flunked - which was what he wanted...

Griff, Now that is priceless! I had a grizzled old Warrant Officer Aviator[Army] under my command that took a Flight Physical as a Separation Physical.We had a new,young Flight Surgeon that just about knew how to put his brass on but when he went to give the patient the "finger wave" the aviator backed up into him and started to moan "passionately"! I wasn't there,but I've heard it said that the rubber glove went one way and the "Doc" went another,giving a new meaning to the definition of FLIGHT SURGEON! Of course, it was a put up job but the "Doc" was hard to convince for a quite a while.You may have noticed, I went to great effort to not name the guilty or the innocent. Nick

The peanut butter episode is a little like the one that involved the early days of random urinalysis (aka "Golden Flow") where the "chain of custody" wasn't as strict as it is today, a small can of Donald Duck Apple Juice, and an individual known for a twisted sense of humor.

"Gee, this stuff looks a little dark. I think I'll run it through again." (glug glug)

Maury

Ah yess, the piss test. To avoid getting drafted the guy added several different types of urine to his bottle. When the results came in , he was told "Your girlfriend is pregnant, your dog has ticks, and YOU are in the Army!