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Allen
06-24-2022, 05:56
𝐎𝐥𝐝 𝐇𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐖𝐢𝐬𝐝𝐨𝐦:

Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.

Keep skunks, bankers, and politicians at a distance.

Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.

Words that soak into your ears are whispered, not yelled.

The best sermons are lived, not preached.

If you don't take the time to do it right, you'll find the time to do it twice.

Don't corner something that is meaner than you.

Don?t pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he?ll just kill you.

It don?t take a very big person to carry a grudge.

You cannot unsay a cruel word.

Every path has a few puddles.

When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

Don't be banging your shin on a stool that's not in the way.

Borrowing trouble from the future doesn't deplete the supply.

Most of the stuff people worry about ain?t never gonna happen anyway.

Don?t judge folks by their relatives.

Silence is sometimes the best answer.

Don?t interfere with somethin? that ain?t botherin' you none.

Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin?.

Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.

The biggest troublemaker you?ll ever have to deal with watches you from the mirror every mornin?.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

Good judgment comes from experience, and most of that comes from bad judgment.

Lettin? the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin? it back in.

If you get to thinkin? you?re a person of some influence, try orderin? somebody else?s dog around.

Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you?ll enjoy it a second time.

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

Most times, it just gets down to common sense.

Vern Humphrey
06-24-2022, 05:44
"Never make love to a woman who's wearing spurs."

"Seek not to sit in the seat of the Mighty ...
that's how you get pinworms."

"I knew him when he didn't have a pot to piss in ...
and I have the carpet stains to prove it."

"You can win a pissing contest with a skunk ...
but don't expect me to attend your victory dinner."

"If someone seems especially interested in you, ask yourself, 'Is this man a proctologist?'"

"I have always considered myself a vindicative son of a bitch, but I take my hat off to the bastard who started the rumor that you can cure hemorrhoids with a sun lamp."

"Watch out for people who are good at games ...
it means they don't do any honest work."

"The creation of acronyms provides meaningful employment to thousands of bureaucrats who would otherwise have nothing to play with but their sexual organs."

Mark in Ottawa
07-03-2022, 01:36
Never have sex with someone who has less to lose than you do

oscars
07-03-2022, 03:03
I wish all men who support overturning Roe v. Wade

A very pleasant never being allowed anywhere near a vagina again.

lyman
07-03-2022, 03:07
I wish all men who support overturning Roe v. Wade

A very pleasant never being allowed anywhere near a vagina again.

kiljoy


and what if those men have one?

Vern Humphrey
07-03-2022, 04:54
kiljoy


and what if those men have one?

I'm amazed at how snotty some people -- who claim to be adults -- can be.

dryheat
07-03-2022, 09:19
������ ������������������ ������������:

Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.

Keep skunks, bankers, and politicians at a distance.

Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.

Words that soak into your ears are whispered, not yelled.

The best sermons are lived, not preached.

If you don't take the time to do it right, you'll find the time to do it twice.

Don't corner something that is meaner than you.

Don?t pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he?ll just kill you.

It don?t take a very big person to carry a grudge.

You cannot unsay a cruel word.

Every path has a few puddles.

When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

Don't be banging your shin on a stool that's not in the way.

Borrowing trouble from the future doesn't deplete the supply.

Most of the stuff people worry about ain?t never gonna happen anyway.

Don?t judge folks by their relatives.

Silence is sometimes the best answer.

Don?t interfere with somethin? that ain?t botherin' you none.

Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin?.

Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.

The biggest troublemaker you?ll ever have to deal with watches you from the mirror every mornin?.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

Good judgment comes from experience, and most of that comes from bad judgment.

Lettin? the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin? it back in.

If you get to thinkin? you?re a person of some influence, try orderin? somebody else?s dog around.

Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you?ll enjoy it a second time.

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

Most times, it just gets down to common sense.

A little long winded for country.

SDigger
07-05-2022, 12:31
Never walk!! upstream after drinking upstream from the herd. 😬🤭😉

JohnMOhio
07-05-2022, 03:28
Love many, trust few, always paddle your own canoe.